Jay Marcyes

Look, Reading Rainbow was a television program. That should tell
you something right there. What I should have done is hosted a show
that taught children how to watch more television. I bet they would
have come up with the funding to renew that show.

satirical letter to Optimus Prime (you know, the transformer).

My favorite part:

...due to the high number of accidents you have been a party to this month, combined with the many accidents you have had in the preceding five months, your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month. While that may seem like a lot, I remind you that it is a savings of $137 over Progressive and $98 over State Farm...

Sadly, this is usually more accurate than not. Though, there was this lady in London doing the same thing while we ate our meal at a small outdoor cafe and we pretty much just considered her the entertainment for the evening.