This is an edited version of the eulogy I gave at my dad's funeral. I remember an Elder Holland quote about serving a mission and how there hasn't really been one day since finishing his mission that he didn't think about it. It's now been awhile since my dad passed away and, while it has gotten easier and life has gone on, I'm pretty sure there will never be another day I won't think of him. I miss him...every day.

I got the phone call dad had passed early in the morning, and as I walked to mom and dad's house:

• They were picking up trash.
• Sprinklers were on at the neighbor's house.
• There were birds chirping.

You know how in a lot of action and disaster movie trailers, there is always a narrator, who says, in a deep foreboding voice, that movie trailer voice, "nothing will ever be the same again!"

That's what that day, that moment, felt like to me.

For everyone who knew dad, the world really won't ever be the same again.

Dad has been at every significant event in my life!

My wife noticed the other day, as a lot of family and friends were posting tributes to dad on their Facebook feeds, that almost all the tributes included a picture.

And she remarked about how nice it was that there were so many pictures to choose from, because he showed up to so many things.

He really was there, at all the big moments and the little moments, dad was there!

Young me

When I was a kid, dad was an audio/visual professor at a California state university. I still have no idea what he actually taught, but I do remember he would bring all these paintings and other artwork home from his students.

He would set up a card table in the living room and grade all the art while watching TV, and I would sit under the card table and look at all of the paintings, drawings, and illustrations before handing them up to him. I love art because of moments like that.

Teenager me

After moving to Utah, dad ran the ASVAB test for the military, I know this because he would ask all my friends if they had heard of the ASVAB, the Armed Service Vocational Aptitude Battery Test, and then give them a whole pitch on why they should take the ASVAB and what it could do for them.

Teenage me found this incredibly embarrassing at the time, and it's been an inside joke in our family for years and years ("have you heard of the ASVAB?" in a mocking voice), but it's stuck with me to this day, dad liked his job!

Before I left on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ, I was going to school down in southern Utah. Mom and dad were living on the east coast at the time.

I needed to get from southern Utah to the east coast and dad came up with the solution. He drove from the east coast to Southern Utah to pick me up.

• Then we went to northern Utah.
• Then to California to see family and friends.
• Then to Washington state to see family and friends.
• Then to Montana to see family and friends.
• Then to Chicago, Illinois so I could visit the Art Institute of Chicago. Dad knew one of my favorite paintings hung there and he wanted me to see it in person.
• Then home to mom and dad's house.

He planned the whole thing, I was just along for the ride. And over the years I've thought of that trip so many times. I'm not sure he ever knew how much it meant to me to do that with him.

Current me

A few weeks ago I sent a picture to him of a painting we were thinking of buying at the art fair, I wanted his thoughts.

Two weeks ago, just hours before I drove him to the Emergency Room, he was feeling better so we went to lunch, he wanted Olive Garden because he felt like their soup, and mom reminded him I didn't particularly like the Olive Garden, and so he said we could go somewhere else.

I told him if he wanted to go to Olive Garden, we're going to Olive Garden! None of us knew at the time that would be his last real meal, but even then, he was willing to go somewhere else to make sure I was good. That was dad!

Stories

Every one of us has stories like the ones I just told.

G told me about how, when he was a teenager, dad was kind of a big deal in their ward among the youth, everyone knew him and liked him, and so when they found out that G was his son then they would say things like you're so lucky and it must be so cool to be his son. G always felt like a rockstar because of dad.

B can talk about how dad pulled off the road once in the middle of nowhere desert because he could see a lake out there and they kept going and going because dad could see the lake, which was obviously a mirage, they went until they got stuck in the sand, they couldn't even see the road anymore and D and G were able to find an old metal sign and wedge it under the tires, that gave them enough traction to get unstuck. They never tried to find a lake out there again.

D can talk about how the parents got sick of taking him to early morning seminary and so dad showed up one day and said I've got something for you and outside was a Mercury cougar, and dad handed him the payment book and the keys and told him to not be late on payments because it was in dad's name.

Dad adopted Y after marrying mom, and Y can talk about when he came in to pick her up for lunch at her office and her boss was saying how he knew dad was her dad because they look so much alike, dad just looked at Y, smiled, and winked.

L can talk about one time dad picked her and V up and took them shopping, he said they could buy anything up to $25, and she chose a ring and he probably never knew that she still has it and it still means a lot to her.

V can talk about the time him and his friends "borrowed" a pizza from a pizza man without paying and they took it to a friend's house and the cops showed up. The cop called dad and V heard on the phone, "kick his EXPLETIVE" and that's the first, and only time, V ever heard dad swear, and he was the Bishop at the time.

K can talk about all the mundane times she spent with dad, like dad driving her to school every morning. Or her stopping by his office when she got home for the night and him pausing the movie he was watching and chatting with her for awhile. Or how she would ask him to find something, and he would spend months tracking it down and one day she would come home and it would be on her bed.

I had to laugh at that last one because dad did that for me also, I asked dad to look out for a book I couldn't find, not even on the internet, and then, like a year later, I came home and there it was sitting on my bed.

S can talk about how she recently took him to the rock fair and he was starting to get weak but they went through the whole thing and at the end he said he hadn't found something for my mom yet, so they went back through all the booths again to find a little figure for mom, and when they found some, he examined every one of them until he found the one he thought she would like the most.

Mom told me that her and dad once took a class and the teacher asked them to write down what they liked about their spouse. She showed it to me the day he died, the list was 7 pages long!

Conclusion

In his book Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives, David Eagleman writes:

“There are three deaths. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time.”

Dad's first death was last week, his second death will be today, but I don't think he'll ever see that third death.

Dad will physically be missed, by everyone in this room, and countless others who couldn't make it today, but he won't be forgotten, he'll live on in get togethers and reunions.

A funny story here, or a joke he used to tell there.

Dad, we love you, we miss you, and we won't forget you.

Thank you for being our husband, our father, and our friend.

Thank you for being there.